So you're engaged..
Now the panic starts to set in, HOW tf do I plan a wedding!?
Good news is, you've (probably) never done this before so no one is expecting that you to know how or what to do.
What I suggest is having a sit down with your SO (significant other) and working out three main things:
- Budget (are we going to have any outside help? parents, family etc?)
- Priorities (eg: not willing to flex on a certain vendor, but can skip on alternate drop)
- People of importance
These three are the best ways I have found to start the ball rolling on getting to that end goal of your dream day!
For some people, budget isn't a concern and all the power to them; I WISH I had that for my day but for a lot of us, budget is the top priority in making sure we keep the day beautiful but still within our means. If you think you might have family or people who are willing to chip in, it's definitely worth going to lunch and having a sit-down chat with them (as uncomfortable as it may be) about numbers, so they know and you know what to expect. If you can score an aunt as your florist and her wedding gift to you is flowers, DOPE! If your in-laws want to match what you put in, even BETTER! But you have to have these conversations so you aren't let down when your expectations don't match what you can afford.
Priorities; arguably the first point of where to start planning your day- I prefer to work out budget first so you can have a rough idea of what your priorities CAN be; for example, some grooms really want to have a certain type of cigar on their wedding day, cool, totally legit BUT can you afford to have them AND the really cool suit you also want?
I have seen brides who literally couldn't care less about how the food was served as long as the styling was perfect; and that's OKAY!
I know I desperately wanted to have a certain photographer at my wedding but we just didn't budget for it so we (unfortunately) chose someone cheap who literally didn't capture a single moment that we desperately wanted to cherish and show to our kids.
It's all about compromise.
If you want to have the most breathtaking dress of your dreams and a reception outfit as well, maybe you could save in another area such as venue or wedding favours (let's be real 60% of them get left on the tables) and also buy your hubby those cigars he wanted as a wedding gift! It's allllll in how you work it!
The third thing is people of importance. Working out specifics of who you want at your wedding such as knowing your aunt wants to be there but she doesn't get along with your mum could mean that maybe she leaves after the family photos or perhaps even sits at a table with your friends at the reception, I know a LOT of people who have to have a seating plan because of people who just don't vibe with eachother (uh helloooooo divorced parents)
It all comes down to YOU as a couple and one thing I always tell my clients is that if they REALLY want to be there to celebrate with you on your day, they will do so, if they can't, then don't invite them!
One of the biggest things I look back on now was one night we had all sat down to finalise head count because 65 people was our limit and when we went to have a look over who had RSVP'd all of a sudden, 20 of my mums friends had been invited. Needless to say heads rolled! I actually remember a bride telling me that her wedding planning policy was
'no pay: no say' and WOW that is brilliant!
All in all, planning your day will be stressful at times and without the right people or resources, it can SO quickly become overwhelming and make you just want to give up but I promise, it will be so worth it on your day when I stop you and say take a look around this room at all the people here who love you and want to celebrate your love. That is why we do it.